May 17, 2022

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365 days since your disappearance. Twenty-eight messages written to your mailbox. Zero replies. The hope that someday we will know what happened to you. At least forty "I love you's," ten dreams recorded and transcribed upon waking up, the feeling of having you by my side everywhere. Your voice in my head advising my decisions. The assurance of your honest love. A trip to Medellin: fifty minutes by car to the bus stop that leads to the entrance of the San Sebastian reserve. A thousand trees adorning the entrance. Seven minutes of confusion. Your presence in the forest. A kiss. Tears running down my face. The possibility of hugging you in that forest, so real and imagined, so akin to the forest of my dreams. To see you in the trees, flowers, in the birds singing, and in the sunlight. I carry you with me in my heart.